In Contrast to Prevalent Notions, Romance Can Endure in Long-term Relationships, Study Shows

A new research suggests that romance does not have to fade away in long-term relationships, but can develop into a companionship / friendship-type love.

Romantic love is capable of lasting a lifetime, resulting in happier, better relationships.

According to lead study author, Bianca P. Acevedo, PhD, then at Stony Brook University (currently at University of California, Santa Barbara), a lot of people adhere to the belief that romantic love is synonymous with passionate love. But she said that it is not. Romantic love, she said, love ”has the intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry that passionate love has, minus the obsessive component. Passionate or obsessive love includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. This kind of love helps drive the shorter relationships but not the longer ones.”

The findings of the study are published in the March issue of the journal Review of General Psychology, a publication of the American Psychological Association.

For the study, Acevedo and fellow researcher Arthur Aron, PhD, reviewed 25 studies involving 6,070 people who were in short- and long-term relationships to determine whether an association exists between romantic love and greater satisfaction. To be able to do this, the researchers categorized the relationships in each of the studies as romantic, passionate (romantic with obsession) or friendship-type love and classified them as either long-term or short-term.

The researchers evaluated 17 studies on short-term relationships, which involved college students 18 to 23 years of age, who were single, dating or married, with the relationships lasting less than four years on average. In addition, they reviewed 10 long-term relationship studies that included middle-aged couples who were in typical marriage relationships for at least 10 years. And two of the studies involved both long- and short-term relationships wherein distinguishing between the two samples was feasible.

In their review, the researchers found that participants who reported romantic love had higher degree of satisfaction in both the short- and long-term relationships. Love that’s categorized as friendship-like was just moderately linked to satisfaction in both long-term and short-term relationships. On the other hand, participants who reported higher level of passionate love in their relationships showed greater satisfaction in the short-term compared t the long-term.

Moreover, couples who reported higher satisfaction in their relationships also reported having greater happiness and higher level of self-esteem, the researchers found.

According to Acevedo, having the feeling that a partner is there for you serves as a sound foundation for a “good relationship,“ and makes way for feelings of romantic love. On the contrary, “feelings of insecurity are generally associated with lower satisfaction,“ and in a number of cases may ignite conflict in the relationship. ”This can manifest into obsessive love,” she added.

This finding may alter people’s expectations of what they desire in long-term relationships. The study authors said that companionship love, which is perceived by a lot of people to be the typical progression of a successful relationship, may be an unessential compromise. According to Acevedo, couples need to make every effort to achieve love complete with all the trimmings.” And couples who have been with each other for a long time and want to recoup their romantic edge, should know that such goal can be achieved that, ”like most good things in life, requires energy and devotion,” she added.